Craving for sleep

Finally major case is out of the way. Can I finally take a rest? I m craving for sleep~ Perhaps I shld lift my mind off academics for a day or two before the exam preparation. This semester has definitely been full-on. Didn't really got a chance to breathe, shit or sleep. Aiyo.. Needing a break, esp knowing right after the exam will have to commence food service placement. Oh. I wish to go to sleep now -- 8.30pm.

人終需長大

人終需長大，我今年是二十三，而已不是那因爲有糖吃而開心的女孩了。最近，常見群鳥成群結隊在空中飛翔，相信是飛到北方過冬。回想以前，很小的時候，得知小鳥會在冬天飛去南方避寒，覺得有趣，還把這"新聞"告訴身邊的人，怕大家不知鳥兒爲何飛走。哈~ 當年的天真令大家都笑個樂，但現在這份無知卻不知飛到哪裏了... 人長大了，會為種種事情心煩，擔憂。前一陣子，我因 clinical placement，competency, major case 等功課纏身，怕自己做不來，天天抱怨。我的害怕與擔憂甚至令朋友家人都擔心我，實在不好意思。其實，回頭一看，我為甚麽不能做回那天真的我，凡事輕鬆對待，因生活的小事情而感到快樂~ 無謂執著，日子也會開心些...

My Birthday

Last night, I had a very kiddy + exciting birthday celebration with kheng ling, yin chien, wan yi, sri, song yee, tammy & victor. The initial plan was to dine out, however, they ended up threw me a "surprise" with a cooked Chinese-cuisine meal, with the main dish as crab. I felt kind of guilty as it is currently such a busy time, they shouldn't have spent so much time on cooking up a meal for my birthday. Well, it was a feast, n we all certainly enjoyed ourselves. And, what special was the presents they prepared for me - a range of Malaysian kid 糖果玩具, air-mailed all the way from Malaysia! (me guilty once again to trouble the aunties) Ha.. i think those toys were the highlights of the night, turning everyone of them high n of course, kid-like again, especially wan yi. The toys were supposed to insert some kind of childhood into the childhood-less me. Anyway, it was definitely a thoughtful presents ~ especially they all now remind me how crazy everyone was last night with these toys. Haha..

Anyway, celebration ended last night, and my work on major case ought to resume. I wish so much to just take a break for today, to at least have a stress-less birthday, however, i can't afford to. Hai~ I know I ve been quite grumpy since this morning, knowing i m stuck with this stupid 5000 words report. But well, i m a final year student, maybe all kind of celebration is meant to delay till i m graduated. It is alright.. I m already fortunate enough to have such a good night yesterday, now is time for Major Case...

A bad situation for friends

Friday lecture day has always been a catch-up session for us. The day of the week when we get together and exchanges news/latest happenings at individual placement sites. Throughout the semester, fridays have been quite a pleasant day to look forward to, not only it is less brain-power demanding to listen at lectures, but also allows us all to be one another's support when placements have been shitty during the week. However, today was not like usual fridays. Since yesterday was the last day of our 9-week placement, we all were either told or hinted about our performance, n the possibilities of supplementary/extra time, or failure. Honestly, I was simply glad n relieved yesterday when my clinical teacher announced to me that i have passed. Actually, in the back of my mind, i did prepare for worse news. However, I wld not dare to think about the situation if i got a fail. It was just too scary - and today, i saw it myself. A few of my friends got the bad news. Not too sure if they will get to do supplementary... They looked so helpless, so down. I really feel sorry for them. I understand that they felt that their hard work was not paid off. Yes, just "not good enough". It is definitely harsh~ Hai.. At one point, I m relieved that i m not facing the same sadness, but i really just feel sad for them. Hopefully, they can eventually pass n let us all graduate together at the end of the year la~!

過關了

我過關了~ 意想不到，我終于成功 passed clinical placement！由 week 1 到這一步，我開了不少晚的夜車，做了無數次的熊貓，也曾經心情掉到谷底，大腦神經也失常了幾次。老實說，過去幾個月，我分分秒秒都在想 nutrition/dietetics，擔心自己技不如人，害怕做不到 expectations, 人都快瘋了。However，如今一切都 being paid off. 雖然 my competency 還未達到 professional dietitian 的水凖，不過我相信 experience 需要時間 build up 的。我會努力的~！One day I ll be addressed to be a dietitian without inserting the word "student" in front of it! Nevertheless, 這次我感到欣慰的是朋友的支持，家人的體諒，一次又一次的把我從炕裏拉起來。無論是精神上，心裏面，還是具體的 Support，我都 highly highly appreciated. Thank you. I really love u all.

A Few Tough Steps

Another week has come by n gone. Can't believe that i ve come to the last week of the semester already. Yes, next week is the final week of placement - going to have my final block review, final clinical teacher observation, last NCP due, case presentation, handing-in portfolio, rounding-up my clinical placement. And, major case n literature review are coming in a week n a bit, followed on is the exam. Ah~~ Stress is definitely developing under my skin, too much to anticipate for the upcoming events/tasks. I shall work hard for these few tough steps towards becoming a dietitian!

Busy but...

All drained, exhausted, but happy. Yes, leaving the house at 0630 for the early morning surgeon ward round was a bit insane; having a full day with barely 20min lunch break was crazy; n working non-stop n potential overtime might sound mad too. Oh well, this is what placement life is lately, for my final block, seeing approximately 6-7 patients a day. Yes, not much, comparing to a full-time dietitian, however, I think comparatively i m managing much more patients a day than I used to. And, it is great to ve this overwhelming exposure because I know I m gaining more experience everyday~ With this stressful environment, nothing is better than a simple nice thank-you from my patient or just a well-done by my supervising dietitian. In fact, I m thinking if I wld miss placement days after these 2 final weeks~!

Too many patients

After a week at the Gen Surg 2 unit, I am gradually getting used to the gastro problems, as well as locating my patients from different wards. However, i m still slow in my management, or not fast enough, only managing 6 pts, while already feeling extremely stressed. Can't believe that we had to work overtime just to finish our patients, even though we rushed through our lunch. But well, good to be busy, the more we do, the more experience we get. Hopefully by end of next week, we ll not struggle too much to finish a day..

Back to FH & Wan Yi's celebration

Back to Frankston Hospital. I must admit to have been freaking out last night, getting all panicky about returning to this scary place. I wished not to see my clinical teacher anymore, but well, i figured out it is way out of my control. Not good to be worrying too much, but ya.. So today started on alright. I was given an unit to take care, sounding more independent now, though of course, overseeing by my new supervisor, who is as nice as rehab dietitian. (*think the only unkind supervisor is my clinical teacher) Oh, managed to get through some patients today. Hoping it is a good start for my final block~!

Well, also, for last night, we had a birthday celebration for Wan Yi at the Polish Restaurant at Chapel Street. First taste of Polish food for many of us - quite special n gained general popularity among the group, however, my personal comment remains conservative. Nevertheless, nice little chat-up session especially for us all being too busy, n of course, no harm just sharing little stupid jokes to enlighten life a bit. Haha...

"Because I said So"

What is better than a comedy just to relax my tensed mind. Indeed, "Because I said So" was a nice movie, funny enough to laugh out, yet not too silly or foolish that switchs on our boredom gene. Anyway, it is a tensed period now - awaiting for the final session of placement. Many classmates had received some hints for the supplementary placement, and conversation around this topic had gone fair bit out of control. Yes, everyone is worried, crossing fingers to hope not to be invited for the extra time. Oh well, as i said, it might do me good, but i ll just wait n see, and at the same time, work harder n be good~!

Entering the month of May

Entering the month of May. Last lecture block. Next week will have our final placement block. It might have seemed like yesterday when placement started, but it feels like ages, as if I have been through a lot. I think this semester I have been pushed through a virtual darkness, trying to squeeze out my very best knowledge n skills. I believe i have somehow re-shaped my mind clinically, which i m glad. Maybe the "torture" is worthwhile to train my professional skills. Now, I m thinking whether i m ready to be a dietitian myself, whether i m confident in trusting my knowledge to make changes in patients' life. Perhaps a supplementary placement would be helpful. I know, i was previously very unkeen of taking supp. n wished so much not to be put on this extra-time program. But now, I think for my clinical benefits, it might not be a bad idea afterall. Oh well, i shall wait n see then, see what my clinical teacher says after my performance in the final block...