Migrants Work Hard

Often in the eyes of our Aussie peers, we, the Chinese, appeared to work hard & speak little. We are often highly valued in workplace due to our efficiency. Is it in our genes that make us workaholic? Or our culture of collectivism tells individual of us to play faithful role as community member? Or we just don't believe "the most squeaky wheel gets the oil", but rather the troublemaker gets punished?

In my opinion, I think working hard could be a coping strategy for isolation, homesickness, and even depression. Migration removes us from our well-established social network. Being physically distant from family & friends creates isolation. No listening ear, no shoulder to cry on, yet we still need to unload our thoughts, relieve emotions. Turning to gambling, drugs & alcohol, or any other self-harm is seen to be morally wrong, and on the other hand, is regarded as a form of weakness, failure & stupidity. While working harder brings pride, it also protects people from admitting & revealing their loneliness & depression.

It is ironic that while i am working on & addressing social isolation in my health promotion project, it often seems like mirroring myself...

結束的選擇

感情是沒有對與錯，也不是科學，付出與收穫是不成正比。

有一位過來人曾經說過一對情侶可以有一萬個理由在一起，但只需要一個原因就會分開。

分手是無奈，是為世所逼，還是自動棄權...

是寧願忍痛犧牲感情，避免造成更大的傷害；還是沒有信心及勇氣去維持感情...

是我們變了，感情變質了，還是本來一開始就不適合...

是因了解而拉開我們之間的距離，還是一路以來就是勉強遷就...

說真的，車子一案就只是導火綫，無聲的問題才是要害。

不過，怎樣都好，接下來的日子可能會痛苦，要面對孤獨，但相信結束是此時此刻最好的選擇。

逃避

逃避。最近發生了許多事情，令我心力交瘁。傷心，痛心，死心。逃避讓我冷靜，讓時間沖淡一切，慢慢重拾心情。

自五月二十六日起，我的車子在家無故被人毀壞，我的心情就同時被毀了。

今年我過了一個最不開心的生日。沒想到車子一案成了一根導火線。生日蛋糕的蠟燭沒點上，這炸彈卻引爆了。

這段日子，我的頭與心輪流控制我。

有時我被理性操控。很自然地保持樂觀，感到幸運，車子雖毀，人卻沒有被傷。同時，十萬個感激好友 Janet 雪中送炭，同事們心切慰問，多次伸出援手。

有時卻感性發作，擔憂自己是否無意中得罪人，他蓄意毀壞我車子，向我報仇。同時，為爆炸而痛心，每句字語都刺到我心在淌淚。惋惜一段感情的結束成了爆炸的結果。

不過，我了解自己，閉門思過會讓我冷靜下來，把自己的心和頭都平靜下來。

這段日子要家人擔心真的過意不去。Daddy 和哥在百忙抽空，開解我，幫我分析事情的利弊。Mummy 更是義無反顧做我聆聽者。我的家人時時刻刻都令我感到無比幸福。

事情與不快的心情總會過去，這一切在我人生簿上畫了一筆。相信下面的 chapters 會因而更有意義了。